so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
bring money and cleavage
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
As shirtless as possible
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
