susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
