After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
