so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
