Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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