She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
