ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.