I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.