Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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