just tell him i said nine months
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
