i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
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I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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