This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
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bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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