Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
