Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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