now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
