yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
