did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize