Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
