had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize