doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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