taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
