Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
