"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
