Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
time to smoke my breakfast
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I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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