I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
