I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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