That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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