Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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