i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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