That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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