so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
