Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
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Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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