i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
