I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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