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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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