tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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