ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well I just put wine in my tea
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
