My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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