so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
