so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
