I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
