I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
