Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Randomize
