i just google imaged poop.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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