Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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