I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
