But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
