Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
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Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
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I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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