that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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