At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
