Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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