My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize