There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
