Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
