Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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