I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i think my cat just said my name.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize