Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
