she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
