Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
pray to the hookup gods
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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