and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
