piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
