She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
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just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
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You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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