We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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