her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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