What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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