so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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