omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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