may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
