who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
