It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
