found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
