There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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