I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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